40 Date Night Questions for Married Couples

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40 Date Night Questions for Married Couples

Date Night Questions for Married Couples

Have you ever scheduled a night out (or date night in?) and looked across the table and couldn’t think of a thing to talk about? In my experience, the conversation usually revolves around the kids, the family, work, house, etc. These talks are necessary, for sure, but sometimes it’s nice to be transported away and think of more personal/intimate things!

This is a list of questions that you might want to consider asking each other on your next date night with your spouse. If some of these don’t apply (or you think they will start a controversial conversation), then don’t use it :)  You could play a game of calling out random numbers and then take turns answering the question. Once you get into the flow, conversation will be a lot easier and the evening out (or in) will feel a lot more relaxing and fulfilling!

  1. Where was our first kiss?
  2. What is my dream vacation?
  3. What was my best childhood memory?
  4. What street did I grow up on?
  5. What’s my favorite movie?
  6. What’s my first memory of you?
  7. What are my top five favorite recipes, listing in order?!?
  8. What kind of gift(s) do I like to receive?
  9. What kind of toppings do I like on my pizza?
  10. What do I fear the most?
  11. What is my biggest accomplishment?
  12. What is my dream(s) in life?
  13. What is my weakness?
  14. What is my most favorite memory from when we were dating?
  15. What do I look forward to the most?
  16. What is my favorite day of the week?
  17. What do I do that irritates you?
  18. What do I enjoy doing with you?
  19. What 5 things can I always count on you for?
  20. What frightens me about the future?
  21. How can I make your life easier?
  22. What desires or wishes do you have that I can fulfill?
  23. What personal trait(s) do I have that you would like changed?
  24. What area(s) in life do you seek my support?
  25. How much one on one time do you need from me each day?
  26. Are we prepared for the future? If not, how can we become prepared?
  27. What is your greatest motivation for getting up every morning and going to work?
  28. What do you see in other marriages that you’d like for us to do?
  29. What are your favorite traits/qualities about me?
  30. What’s been weighing on your mind lately?
  31. What makes you feel great about yourself?
  32. What inspires you the most?
  33. What do you need from me romantically?
  34. What changes need to be made to our parenting?
  35. Are we setting a good example in our marriage for our children?
  36. What do you see for our retirement?
  37. What’s one place you’d like to visit in the next year?
  38. What three changes need to be made to our lives?
  39. How happy are you in our marriage?
  40. What do you need from me?

I am pretty sure that after asking only a few of these questions, you will be engrossed in conversation. At the end of the night I’m sure you will have learned quite a bit about your spouse that you didn’t know (or never thought of asking!).  If you have any date night suggestions or ideas, please share in the comments below.

Get the Latest News From The Frugal Find

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Are you getting the latest news from the Frugal Find? I have heard many of you are not seeing all the updates on Facebook…that’s because Facebook is limiting what you are seeing. The more you interact with us on The Frugal Find facebook page the more you will see from the page. So be sure to “like” and share what you enjoy. Plus, that gives us ideas of what similar deals we can post!

 *The more you interact on the Frugal Find Facebook page, the more content you will see.*

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“I coupon so that I can…”

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I thought it would be fun to list all of the reasons why we “coupon”.

I’ll start and then you share yours in the comments section, I can’t wait to hear why you girls (and guys!) coupon!

I coupon so that I can…

– save toward a trip to Guatemala to visit my parents, family and friends (and get away from the cold!)

I also think it’s fun and LOVE it especially when I can get freebies or money back on items! It’s like a scavenger hunt, don’t you think? I would LOVE to hear your reasons for couponing. Please share and let’s get the conversation started!

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What Does “Frugal” Mean To You?

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Why We Chose a Frugal Lifestyle

I often struggle with finding a balance of being Frugal and paying retail because it’s just so much simpler. So I wanted to know your thoughts on What Does Frugal Mean?

I think we all all can agree that we often find ourselves going back and forth between 2 types of Frugal living. While they both are dear to my heart and both bring me joy life tends to get in the way and I loose my focus.

1. Frugal Living means making your own bread, avoiding the stores, cooking from scratch, reusing as much a possible, etc.

2. Frugal Living means shopping stores and stockpiling for free or as close to free as I can. Not to mention adding in the occasional Thrift Store or Garage Sale stop!

When trying to define Frugal in Wixipedia here’s what it comes up with: Frugality is the quality of being frugal, sparing, thrifty, prudent or economical in the use of consumable resources such as food, time or money, and avoiding waste, lavishness or extravagance.

Here’s how they also defined Frugal Living: Frugal living is mainly practiced by those who aim to cut expenses, have more money, and get the most they possibly can from their money.

So What Does Frugal Mean To You?

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Things I Wish I Knew As a High-School Freshman

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I am sixteen and growing, but I used to be thirteen and terrified. New friends, new school, college plans, deadlines… high school is a frightening time for most of us. The time I’ve had in these short years have shaped me more than I can even comprehend. I know that I am nowhere near done with my experiences and learning lessons, in fact, I’m at the thick of it all. I’m looking at colleges and majors and essentially I’m picking out the rest of my life before I can even legally drive my friends to Starbucks. Or at least that’s how it feels sometimes. I could fill every page in a library with the things I’ve had to learn since I first entered high school, but I won’t do that. I will, however, fill a few lines on this blog with what hopefully doesn’t turn out to be cliches and mom-like advice (no offense, Mom!)

Friends WILL come and go.

You’ve probably heard this many times, but I can attest to this. The only person you have at the end of the day is yourself, and that has to be enough. I spent several nights in a burrito of blankets with a bowl of ice cream in hand wondering why Friend A would say that to Friend B about me – what had I done? The answer is nothing. You can blame it on the Niagara Falls of hormones that seem to run rampant through the bodies of high schoolers or on the slow news day for the gossipping network, but that doesn’t change anything. Do not be afraid to up and leave at any time. But, we have bracelets that say Best Friends Forever, doesn’t that mean anything? It certainly can, but before you make that promise to yourself, you need to make a first agreement: never let yourself be treated poorly. Friends are only friends as long as you make each other mutually happy. You must be in control of your own life and your own happiness. Enjoy every moment with those who make good company, but embrace change if and when it comes knocking on your door.

Respect yourself.

Before I say another word, I must make clear: this does NOT mean what you’ve probably heard before: “Don’t kiss the boy with the tattoos!” “Cover yourself when going out!” “Always act like a lady!” You can, at the end of the day, do whatever you want to do. Respecting yourself means you must treat your mind and body well. You can eat as much cake and ice cream as your heart desires, but do not berate yourself for it. I learned that I have to talk to myself as I would to a dear friend. I used to catch myself talking to my body in a way that no one would ever want to be spoken to (we’ve reconciled since). Your heart beats about 103,680 times a day to make sure you can keep going. You owe it to yourself to do all you can to keep going, too.

Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay.

It used to be my mission to make sure that every person that I ever encountered at school or otherwise thought I was simply great. It was really stressful and time consuming trying to say the right things at the right times, but not to talk too much. I formed a type of list in my head of who I should approach whenever I saw them and who I shouldn’t speak to unless spoken to. It was a mind game of hundreds of names and faces, and I tried to remember what ticked people off, or what topics they loved to talk about. At the beginning of my sophomore year, I just completely stopped. I was getting exhausted and it wasn’t doing me much good. I came across a quote that has been in my head ever since I read it. “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches”. Save yourself the trouble I went through, and don’t waste time on people who will not be a positive part of your life.

Chances are, you’re not going to know what you want to do any time soon.

I know, I know. High school is supposed to be all about dating the star quarterback while doing hours of service and also maintaining a 4.0 GPA and making plenty of lifelong friends. ALl the while, you’re supposed to figure out what you want to do for, wait for it, the rest of your life. Let me tell you something I never even considered in my early high school years: you have no obligations except to make yourself happy. Your parents will not be going to college for you, and your teachers won’t be there to do the work at a job they recommended that you absolutely despise. These years should be used to find yourself and think or talk about different options for your future. You honestly don’t even need to know what college you’re going to until the end of senior year. Do not let this stress you out. Instead, take a deep breath whenever you feel your anxiety level rising and commend yourself for the miles and miles you’ve gone to get where you are now. You will have to put in some work, but things will work out some way or another, even if unexpectedly. The only thing you can ask of yourself is to do what you can. You are capable or much more than you might think, and with a little self motivation, you’ll get to places you never imagined. Hell, even adults still don’t know what they want to do with their lives a lot of the time.

 Most importantly, you will be okay.

There will be nights where you think you can’t handle everything that’s thrown at you. Sometimes you will fail a test or disappoint someone. There’s never going to be a guarantee of things going as you planned. This is all trivial, believe it or not. Take a look at yourself for a moment and think about all you’ve been through. Heartbreak, pain, loss, and sleepless nights are probably all stamped on your adolescent résumé. You’re here now, and you’ve made it so far (you go, Glen Coco!). Be excited about all the things you’ll encounter! There are so so so many people you haven’t met, and every day gives you the opportunity to change your life however completely you want to. Take chances and most importantly, take it all in. This is the youngest you’ll ever be again and you’ve got so, so much ahead of you. Good luck, and go make this whole thing worth it.

                                          Love always, Annette Marie.

Letting Go Is Often What You Need In Order To Grow

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This is a reprint of an article by Mastin Kipp from one of my favorite blogs The Daily Love. I have always  loved how Mastin sees the world and I enjoy starting my morning reading his insights. As I was reading this morning’s Daily Download, I knew I had to share it with my readers. I agree with him that it’s so important to  reflect on one’s current situation; in relationships, jobs, family, and life in general. I hope you enjoy Mastin’s perspective as much as I did!

I’ve had many growth spurts in my life. Many. Some have resulted in massive growth, some have been a precursor to temporary defeat. Either way, growth – if we want to be happy – is the name of the game. I’ve always known this to be true, but it was hammered home for me by my friend and mentor Tony Robbins. Tony says that, “Progress equals happiness.”

This means that we are happy when we are making progress toward our own outcomes, goals and most importantly, feelings. One of the patterns I’ve noticed within the growth cycle is that before a major expansion comes the need to let go of certain people, places of things in your life. Think of it like a rocket ship. When the ship takes off, it has powerful rockets and boosters to get it to break away from Earth’s gravity. But once it’s in space, it has to jettison some of the equipment that it used to take off because it doesn’t serve the rocket on the rest of the journey.

This isn’t to sound cold or harsh, but rather to point out that when you grow, sometimes what’s holding you back isn’t your potential, but what’s around you. The seed outgrows the shell. The butterfly outgrows the cocoon. And in life, we are either growing together, or we are growing apart. This is true in romantic relationships. This is true in business relationships. This is true in friendships and all forms of human relationships.

There’s nothing wrong with growing apart. It could simply mean that your work with those in your life that are moving on is done. And it could mean that there’s new work to do with new people who have yet to enter your life. Don’t judge it and don’t stop it from happening either.

There’s nothing better than a clean break. And don’t get all spiritual ego on me either. Just because someone might be leaving your life doesn’t mean they are “less” spiritual than you are. It just means they are now on a different path and in a different place with new work to do.

 How can you identify people you should let go of?

 Here are some questions:

Who do you find yourself having to not be yourself around?

Is there anyone in your life that you used to have a bunch of things in common with but now you don’t?

Do you find yourself just being polite around certain people and not telling them how you really feel with a sense of emotional intimacy?

Does anyone in your life make you feel badly about things that light you up or make you happy?

 Chances are it might be time to move on, or at least get a little space.

~ Mastin Kipp, from The Daily Love

I hope this “Food for Thought” helps you in your journey to live your life fully. This is one of my goals for 2014. I have spent too long holding on to things and now is the time for a fresh and clean start. I love the way Mastin puts this into perspective and I hope you did too. Did this article make resonate with you? I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

A note from Maria …

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After Julia’s heartfelt note last night, I don’t even know where to begin!  For the last couple of months I have gotten to know Julia and now I completely understand why people love and appreciate her so much. She is one classy lady and one tough act to follow. I will do my best to make her proud  and continue with the amazing job that she has done until now. I have big shoes to fill so please bear with me while I learn!

I will be updating the About Me page and there you will be able to read more about my background and life. Throughout the months I will share more  about me, my thoughts and views on different things. The one thing I forgot to mention in the About Me page and I want to emphasize is that I am always striving to learn and improve as a person. PLEASE, I want to hear from you. I would love to know what you want to see more of on this blog, what you miss and any other comments/suggestions that you have. I love hearing and interacting with my readers and the more I know about you, the better I will be able to serve you.

I debated whether to include a picture of myself because I tend to be a very private person. However I think it makes things more personal and real if you can actually put a face behind the words (and deals :)  ). So here goes a picture of me, taken at the bottom of the Moraga mosaic staircase while exploring the beautiful city of San Francisco, California. My sister Lisa lives in Alameda so I am blessed with the chance to visit the City a couple of times a year. Definitely one of my favorite places ever.



Thank you for welcoming me into your home and giving me the opportunity to be a part of your lives! I look forward to many years of getting to know you and share with you.


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A note from Julia…

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I’ve written this post in my head time and time again over the last couple of months.  Every time I’ve tried to put “pen to paper” the words just don’t seem to adequately express my feelings.  I guess that’s because my feelings currently are so very mixed and I can feel a myriad of different emotions just as quickly as I can blink my eyes it seems.  You may or may not have noticed, some big changes have been made behind the scenes here at The Frugal Find.

Let me explain…

Almost 4 years ago I started this blog as a hobby, a place to share what I was head over heals excited about – frugal living and couponing. My friends tuned in, they told their friends, who told their friends, and this blog was born.  My first month of blogging saw about 3,000 unique visitors and within no time we were sharing deals with upwards of 100,000 readers!  However I had no idea this info was even being tracked, blogging as a “business” wasn’t a concept I was even aware existed at that point.  I just knew more and more comments and emails were coming in, you were all craving this information and I was learning the ropes along with you.  Then there came a point in our family’s journey where we were called to a major step in faith and very quickly this blog become an everyday part of our lives and a part of our testimony. You can read more about  How The Frugal Find Started here and here. So much of what I wrote then still applies today, such as…

When you’re living a life of faith, even as weak as I have been, you WILL be ok.  It’s a pretty well calculated risk when you’re depending on God’s promises.  He is ever faithful and when He says something He means it, period.

What do you dream about doing with your life?  Where would you love to see your family at in 5, 10, or 15 years?  What are you doing to accomplish those dreams?   I can remember literally feeling like the way were living was the way life was going to be forever – like a hampster in a wheel.  Several years ago I remember waking up in the middle of the night feeling so desperate and thinking this is it – we’ll never get out from under this debt.  The truth is that there is freedom and nothing in life is permanent, and the things that are can appear vastly different if you choose to have a different outlook on life.

When we first started on this journey, we received questions like this from people very close to us…

Surely God would tell you where to go next BEFORE he asks you to step out in Faith, wouldn’t He? Surely He would want you to have a plan in place first, right? Surely, you are rushing into this. You have bills. You have children. What are you going to do?!

Our response was and is to this day…

God has told us to step out in faith.
God has told us to depend on Him.
God has promised to provide for our needs.
God has blessed us with a peace that surpasses all understanding.
That is all we know, and so we go.

A few months back we took another step in faith and stepped out into another portion of HIS story of our lives.  At this point in time we are no longer the owners here at The Frugal Find.  I came to a point where it was very clear that my time here had come to an end.  I said no, it couldn’t be.  I fought tooth and nail to make it work, I loved what I did and this was what God had called us to do as a family.  Right?  Yes that’s right.  It was – for a season.  That season has now passed and a new season has arrived.

Let me tell you what this season looks like for us right now, because that’s all I know is the here and now.  Step by step. Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. Psalm 119:105  Step by step as the Lord leads, we may not have a flash light to shine down the road but we will be able to see clearly each step we take in faith.

It’s now the time to give you the big news.  This is where it get’s exciting.  After a lot of prayer and MANY interviews we have passed the reigns here are The Frugal Find onto a very sweet lady name Maria.  In fact she’s been in charge here now for almost 2 months.  The transition has been very smooth and now that we’ve been able to share this important announcement with you she’ll be taking a bolder approach as the blogger behind TFF and sharing more about her and her family from here on out.  I just know you’re going to love her, we do!

Mr. Frugal and I have taken the summer off to regroup, refocus, and LOVE ON OUR KIDDOS!  They’ve sacrificed quite a bit, anytime you own your own business the hours of the day roll into the night and you realize you haven’t stopped working – even when you’re spending time with your family.  Vacations become working vacations and dinners out are still interrupted by this email or that Facebook update.  I’ve lost some time with my kids that I’ll never get back and that breaks my heart HOWEVER that was a season that we were called to, very clearly.

The next few months after that are unknown for us, but it very likely includes Mr. Frugal working a part time job and going back to school and me being a full time stay at home mom.  That’s always been my hearts desire and I am excited beyond words that it’s come to be a reality for us now.

As we look back at what The Frugal Find has provided for our family we are flabbergasted by the blessings that have been poured out on our family.  You, our readers have been an enormous encouragement to our family.  You’ve supported us from day 1 and we are forever thankful to you.  Once again, there aren’t words to express my feelings at this moment but I hope you understand that we have loved every second of sharing our lives with you.  I have some exciting ideas in mind to fill the hours while the kiddos are in school and I’d love to have you keep in touch with our family.  You can add me as friend on Facebook or email me anytime at julia wessels at gmail.com (remove spaces).  I’d love to hear from you!

For now you’ll find us…

Going on field trips with my kiddos…

Going to the rodeo with Mr. Frugal…

Remodeling our kitchen (DIY!)…

Travis Beach

Spending time at the beach…

and doing LOTS of this!

You may even see me around here from time to time :)

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We may never have all the answers.

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My heart is aching.  I know the heart of our God is aching.  I also believe the children are playing joyfully in His presence – laughing, dancing, and singing.  I’m with most of you though, I still can’t help but wonder WHY?!  My heart is broken today.

I posted the following on Facebook a little while ago…

As a mom today is just too painful to think of anything other than the pain the families in CT are experiencing. We’ll continue to blog and post deals, but please understand that using silly words today like “hot! coupon! deal!” just makes my stomach turn. All I want to do is hold my kids and pray.

But after talking with Mr. Frugal we’ve decided to take the rest of the day off. We will be shutting down here at TFF for the rest of today out of respect for the children’s lives that were lost and for the mourning families. There just isn’t anything worth our time more than prayer and loving on our own children.

I don’t know why.  We may never know why.  However let this be a reminder that we don’t know when we’ll take our last breath.  We have a loving Savior who waits with outstretched arms.  He has a gift for you.

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The mess is our story.

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I was reminded of this post today after I posted the following status update on my personal Facebook page:

For the last week our kids have been obsessed with making paper snowflakes and the scraps all over the floor have been driving me crazy. That is until I read today that that Sandy Hook PTA is asking for children to make snowflakes and send them in to bring some winter cheer to the grieving students. Thank you Lord for a fresh perspective today. We have dozens to mail in!  Here’s the link with the details, make a mess and send in some snowflakes!

It was just after 7am when my youngest woke up and came into the kitchen, for some odd reason the camera was sitting on the table and my husband snapped a picture of us.  My son looking very disillusioned and the crumbs.  The crumbs on the table, I’m pretty sure I even said – “you got the crumbs in the picture!”  But then when I looked carefully at the picture I could see my love for my son was captured in that moment and the crumbs didn’t matter anymore.

Ann Voskamp of A Holy Experience spoke this weekend at The Relevant Conference and one of the many things she said as I was furiously scratching out on paper her every word was this…

“The state of my space doesn’t reflect the state of my soul.”

I am a perfectionist living in the body of a very imperfect person.  Really I’m like 2 people fighting for space here.  On one hand messes make me crazy on the other hand I’m often the one to create them.  It’s interesting how that works.

Yes, I’m talking about literal messes but also…spiritual messes.  We are messy people and that’s ok.  The mess is our story.  The crumbs on the kitchen floor tell a story of a delicious dinner the night before with 4 clamoring laughing children who may or may not have also made the other sticky mess I stepped in when they spilled their juice.  The pride, insecurity, unforgiveness….I could go on and on is another type of mess.

We are messy people – saved by Grace, and Grace makes you and me good enough, even perfect in the eyes of a loving Savior.

Again… “The state of my space doesn’t reflect the state of my soul.”  If you have young children like I do, give yourself grace.  My house is messy 95% of the day, no matter how often I ask my son to clean up his legos or my daughter to put away her art supplies – within minutes they’re poured out again.  They are living life, playing.  Let’s live life and pour out our legos, even better… let’s get down on the floor and color.  I’ll be honest about my mess, it’s been too long since I’ve seen the floor for any other reason than scrubbing it.  By grace…I’m learning to love the mess and even make some messes of my own.

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A good deal is only a good deal when it’s the very best that you can afford…

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This is a re-post from the last few years with a few edits here and there.  I share it every year as it’s still very timely and I pray it encourages you, especially if you’re struggling to provide for your family during this Christmas season.

With Black Friday coming up, there will be a lot of shiny new toys with bells and whistles calling your name.  First I’m going to be as bold as to say, you don’t need most of it so you can just sleep in on Friday, you won’t miss much.  I know, everyone else everywhere is telling you to get ready and building the hype about the biggest shopping day of the year.  I’m not scrooge or anything – I’ve spent many years out there with the best of you.  My point in this post is to remind you a good deal is only a good deal when it’s the very best that you can afford.

In years past I’ve stood in line at Target to buy some shiny plastic things that I didn’t need and my kid’s didn’t want.  Sure those $3 barbies were a hot deal – but my daughter has never played with a barbie and we don’t even like them!  Oh but the 20 pack of hot wheel cars for $5 was also a good deal, forgetting the fact that we already have a bin FULL that they don’t play with.  Honor your children’s wishes and buy the best you can afford for them as well.  Don’t undercut them just because there is a better deal and you think they’ll like it.  I’m not saying that my 4 year old is getting a Nintendo DS this year because that’s what he really really really wants – instead I’ll take a good hard look at the rest of the items he’s shown and interest in and see where and how I can bless him this year.

I remember being there in line way too early when it was literally BLACK out on Black Friday – $50 cash in hand.  My goal was to get as many gifts as I could for $50.  I know it sounds so silly now, but that’s what I thought, the more gifts under the tree the happier they’ll be!  When the truth is my son would have been happy with ONE $50 lego set, instead he got a bunch of toys that he didn’t play with just a few weeks later.

What can I afford?

Do you have enough cash to pay for it?  It’s as simple as that – if you’re planning to shop with Credit Cards this year you cannot afford Christmas, or at least not at the level you were planning for.  I’m sorry guys, but even those Credit Card with rewards points…if you don’t plan to go home and write a check paying off your balance off in full that very same day – you’re basically buying those points.

You will likely spend 12-18% more if you use plastic and you’ll be paying it off come next year! – Dave Ramsey

What do you mean buy the best I can afford?

Don’t undercut yourself.

What I mean by this is if your budget this year is $100 for a digital camera – take the time and do your research.  Don’t buy junk, a lot of people fall into the trap of buying a $75 digital thinking they’ve just saved $25 bucks – but remember you get what you pay for.  Those Black Friday door buster deals are there to lure you in to the store so that you’ll buy more – they aren’t always as great of deal as they seem to be.  Research the product in advance.  Some of them are legitimately good deals, and that’s great!  Just know what you’re getting into beforehand.

Live within your means.

If you have a $100 budget, don’t spend $150 because the next model has more to offer.  There is always a next model up even when you have $1000 to spend.  Be satisfied that you’re able to make your purchase in cash and that you’ve done your research, knowing full well you’re buying the best camera $100 can buy.

A personal note from me to you…

Don’t forget that Christmas is all about people, not gifts.  It’s about one very special little baby that would become our Savior, the richest gift of all.  If your heart is breaking this year because you can’t afford Christmas for your children or family please know that Mr. Frugal and I ARE praying for you.  I will do my very best here on TFF to share with you the absolute best deals I can find.  I won’t water down the site with a bunch of wishy washy deals that will have your head spinning wondering what is up from down.  I don’t want to waste your time or mine.  I’ll also make a point to share charities that are available to help during the Christmas season.  Plus we have MANY giveaways planned, so hopefully you’ll win one of those too!  Thank you for reading, I know you’re here because you need to be – to learn to SAVE more so you can GIVE more so you can LIVE more.

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Coming up for air. Debt is suffocating.

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a time when I found myself wrought with worry.  It was more common that I found myself awake at night than asleep.  The burden of our debt and the lack of income we had was eating away at me, I felt hopeless.  I had NO IDEA how we would be able to dig out from under the mountain we created.   The future looked bleak and many of the dreams we had as newlyweds had begun to fade.  That was about 5 years ago, and as much as I hate to say it we STILL have some of that debt lingering around.  However the difference now is that we have HOPE and we have a plan.

As permanent as your situation may feel I want to encourage you that nothing is forever.   So many things in our lives have changed over the past 5 years that I’ve begun to realize nothing is impossible and very little is forever.  From the day we got married, Mr. Frugal and I had always dreamed of living outside of CA.  At the time though much of our situation looked to say that CA was where we’d call home for a very long time.  Here we are in Oregon today.  For 1o years my husband worked for his family’s business, while we were thankful for the opportunity it wasn’t a career that he loved.  We dreamed of owning our own business and even though not a single bit of The Frugal Find came because of anything we had planned, we’re so very thankful that the Lord blessed us and allows us to  do what we do today.  It’s a ministry that we’re very passionate about.

Today we find ourselves about 18 months away from being DEBT FREE!  We would have been out of debt a lot sooner, had we been insured when we moved to Oregon.  Remember when Mr. Frugal ended up in the hospital the weekend we arrived in Oregon?  Yep we were uninsured.  Our kid’s were covered, but in CA we simply couldn’t afford it.  In hindsight the 20K bill was a whole lot less affordable then insurance would have been at the time, but alas we feel that the hospital bill really helped kick us into high GET OUT OF DEBT gear.  So we’re awkwardly thankful for it.

All of this to say, we’ve been there.  We’re coming out on the other side of the dark tunnel and there is hope.  We’re looking to buy a house in a town we love, running a business that we never would have dreamed of, and we’re all healthy (and insured!)

I’m praying for you today.   I know what you’re going through.  I know the desperation you feel.  Please know that as the song above says, even in the desert – our God is the God who provides and He is refining you. In every season, He is still God and we have a reason to sing.

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I’m a mom of a girl who hasn’t a clue, but I’m learning as I go…

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I have one daughter and 3 boys.  I wasn’t raised by my mom so the whole girl thing isn’t something that comes naturally to me.   I can take (and warmly welcome!) all the help I can get.  I’ve been hunting down something to tame my daughter’s blonde fly-away, straight sometimes, and curly in random places hair.  That’s when I found Kate at  The Small Things Blog.  She is simply adorable and I want to be her when I grow up :)  So the point of this post is to tell you about the hair style video tutorials she has put together, there have to be at least 30 different videos.

Tonight I tested the French Braid Bangs style on Haley and it turned out super cute.  So if you’re like me a fish out of water when it comes to all things “girly” then Kate’s the girl for you!  Thank you Kate for such a sweet blog!

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Home School Vs. Public School, a word of encouragement…

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This isn’t a debate, this is a from my heart and our experience as a family.  Many of you know we homeschooled our children for the first 2.5 years of their schooling.  Recently we made the decision to put them in public school, there were many factors that played into our decision and we sit today covered in peace.  About a week ago we had our first Parent/Teacher conferences.  We really had no idea what to expect.  Would they say what I had feared all along?  “Your child is behind and has many gaps in his/her education.”

You see daily I questioned my ability, all to often I cried myself to sleep fearing that I was “messing the kids up” somehow.  On the days we schooled I wondered if they were getting any of it, then on the days we didn’t school the guilt rode me to no end.    Mr. Frugal and I were managing a business full-time at home and schooling the kids full-time.  Stress was a common factor in most of our days sadly.

This is however what we heard and it brought me great joy.

Tyler is in Kindergarten.  His teacher just smiled when I asked about his temperament.  You see he is a ball of energy and I wondered if he was able to sit still and focus at all.  She described him as bright, playful, sweet, and obedient.

Then we met with Cody’s teacher, he is in 2nd grade.  His reading and math levels are currently 2 grades higher (doing 4th grade work) and he ASKED for more homework. He is also in a book club where they compete against other schools and are tested on their reading comprehension.

Our only daughter Haley is in 4th grade.  Her teacher said she is very mature,  loves to help in any capacity and always has a smile on her face.  She is also advanced in reading and is very sweet and caring towards the other kids.

Then there is Travis, will you pray for us?  Hahaha, just kidding but he is QUITE the character!  He’ll start Kindergarten in the Fall.

Why am I sharing all of this?  I know it’s not frugal related and we don’t often share about our kids but this was heavy on my heart.  I know most of you are parents and I would venture to guess that many of you burden some amount of guilt about the choices you’re making in regards to your children’s education.

For my homeschooling friends, family, and readers.  You ARE doing an amazing job.  I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but He doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.  If you’re called to homeschool – you will be equipped. You may never get to sit down and actually hear this from a teacher, but trust me it is sinking in.  If we were able to impart what we have in to our children, you most certainly are too.   For those of you that have chosen public education, I stand with you in prayer for our children.  There are certainly things our children will see/hear/experience that we wish they could be sheltered from but kids are very resilient and when fortified at home by a loving family they’ll do just fine.   Our kids are thriving and yours will too.

Go in peace today, you’re doing just fine.

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In the storm…

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I bought this picture today and wanted to share it with you.  We’ve been through many storms but our God is GREATER always.

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