From My Heart

I have one daughter and 3 boys.  I wasn’t raised by my mom so the whole girl thing isn’t something that comes naturally to me.   I can take (and warmly welcome!) all the help I can get.  I’ve been hunting down something to tame my daughter’s blonde fly-away, straight sometimes, and curly in random places hair.  That’s when I found Kate at  The Small Things Blog.  She is simply adorable and I want to be her when I grow up  So the point of this post is to tell you about the hair style video tutorials she has put together, there have to be at least 30 different videos.

Tonight I tested the French Braid Bangs style on Haley and it turned out super cute.  So if you’re like me a fish out of water when it comes to all things “girly” then Kate’s the girl for you!  Thank you Kate for such a sweet blog!

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This isn’t a debate, this is a from my heart and our experience as a family.  Many of you know we homeschooled our children for the first 2.5 years of their schooling.  Recently we made the decision to put them in public school, there were many factors that played into our decision and we sit today covered in peace.  About a week ago we had our first Parent/Teacher conferences.  We really had no idea what to expect.  Would they say what I had feared all along?  ”Your child is behind and has many gaps in his/her education.”

You see daily I questioned my ability, all to often I cried myself to sleep fearing that I was “messing the kids up” somehow.  On the days we schooled I wondered if they were getting any of it, then on the days we didn’t school the guilt rode me to no end.    Mr. Frugal and I were managing a business full-time at home and schooling the kids full-time.  Stress was a common factor in most of our days sadly.

This is however what we heard and it brought me great joy.

Tyler is in Kindergarten.  His teacher just smiled when I asked about his temperament.  You see he is a ball of energy and I wondered if he was able to sit still and focus at all.  She described him as bright, playful, sweet, and obedient.

Then we met with Cody’s teacher, he is in 2nd grade.  His reading and math levels are currently 2 grades higher (doing 4th grade work) and he ASKED for more homework. He is also in a book club where they compete against other schools and are tested on their reading comprehension.

Our only daughter Haley is in 4th grade.  Her teacher said she is very mature,  loves to help in any capacity and always has a smile on her face.  She is also advanced in reading and is very sweet and caring towards the other kids.

Then there is Travis, will you pray for us?  Hahaha, just kidding but he is QUITE the character!  He’ll start Kindergarten in the Fall.

Why am I sharing all of this?  I know it’s not frugal related and we don’t often share about our kids but this was heavy on my heart.  I know most of you are parents and I would venture to guess that many of you burden some amount of guilt about the choices you’re making in regards to your children’s education.

For my homeschooling friends, family, and readers.  You ARE doing an amazing job.  I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but He doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.  If you’re called to homeschool – you will be equipped. You may never get to sit down and actually hear this from a teacher, but trust me it is sinking in.  If we were able to impart what we have in to our children, you most certainly are too.   For those of you that have chosen public education, I stand with you in prayer for our children.  There are certainly things our children will see/hear/experience that we wish they could be sheltered from but kids are very resilient and when fortified at home by a loving family they’ll do just fine.   Our kids are thriving and yours will too.

Go in peace today, you’re doing just fine.

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I bought this picture today and wanted to share it with you.  We’ve been through many storms but our God is GREATER always.

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This topic has come up before, and frankly it irritates me a bit.  In the past we’ve had readers and companies “challenge” us to live on a Food Stamp budget for just one month.  Ha!  I wish we could, according to SNAP Chart (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) our family of 6 would get $952 a month for FOOD!  Can you believe that?!   Our most recent budget was $75/week and that’s an increase from the original $60.  Our kids are getting bigger, eating more, and going to school which means school lunches need to be packed.  When I share these numbers with those that challenge us, they move right along.

So what got my juices going again on this topic?  This Whole Foods blog post from a “frugal foodie” who did a guest post for them.   She bet Whole Foods that she could keep her monthly budget under the USDA “Thrifty Budget” which she says is 30% higher than the Food Stamp allotment would be.  (I don’t see the numbers she suggests anywhere though) Either way, she set her budget at $491.10 for 30 days for a family of 3.   She won the bet and I am happy to say she donated the proceeds to a local food bank.  Here is a portion of the blog…

Throughout the 30 days I kept thinking of families who were living at or below the poverty level trying to feed everyone. It was such a struggle for us even though we had done our homework and only had to do it for one month. I can’t imagine what the grind feels like after months or years of living like this.

It’s articles like this that really get to me, you see there is a working class out there that is living on MUCH less for groceries each week than any other group of people here in the US.   I absolutely think the SNAP program has a time and place and is a wonderful resource for struggling families, but to be frank the numbers appear incredibly wasteful to me.  I’ve had friends in the past that were receiving Food Stamps and they were eating very well, often times with a surplus to spend on extras each month.  Even the USDA “Thrifty Budget” would be a huge increase for us, and we’re not eating beans and rice; or junk food for that matter.

Whew.  Thanks for letting me vent.  I just wish more people understood what frugal and thrifty actually meant, if they did our country would be in a much different place today.   Those of you who visit here regularly are working very hard to provide for your families and to cut your budgets back for one reason or another and I applaud you.   You’re doing a great service to your family and generations to come.

It is not my intention to offend anyone, these are just my opinions and the result a few free minutes this evening.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic.

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Just to prove that I have the best readers in the world I had to share a little something with you tonight. Remember when we gave away a Keurig and an iPad2 this past Holiday season?  How awesome it was for those TFF readers that won huh?!  Would you believe it if I told you they BOTH passed on the prize to deserving people (in one case a stranger even?!)  I’m not going to share details because in one instance they’ve asked that I keep it a secret but when I found out about the second one tonight I just had to give a little itty bitty spoiler here.

Yep, you guys are amazing and you inspire me.

Photo Credit

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We’ve been homeschooling our kiddos for the past 2.5 years, it’s been an amazing journey and season of life.  The past couple of years have been wonderful, we’ve loved the opportunity to speak life into our children’s hearts, to see the first of many accomplishments, and the freedom that comes with making our own school/work schedule.

However the past 6 months haven’t been the same, we’ve been hanging onto the homeschooling lifestyle with white knuckles and making it work, for better or worse.  The truth is, and it’s tough to admit, I haven’t been able to enjoy the kids as I should be.  Between work, keeping up our home, finding a church, and learning our new community here in Bend (without any family nearby) we’ve been flat-out overwhelmed.  Now don’t get me wrong, I adore being a mom but being a teacher just isn’t in the cards for me, I struggled week by week for over 2 years to find a normalcy to our school day.  Mr. Frugal took over teaching this year and I’ll admit he did a MUCH better job than I had done, but still it wasn’t flowing and we couldn’t find a happy rhythm.   We tried several different methods, took breaks to reevaluate, and kept finding ourselves in the same boat.

We always said we’d take it year by year and as the Lord leads we’ll follow, I never expected to make a change mid-year but the timing is right and things have fallen into place.   When the thought came to mind of public school, I panicked.  I started to imagine every worst case scenario there could be about sending the kids to school, I was making myself sick with worry.  I’ve been there for everything and the thought of not being there to catch them when they fall (literally or not) was almost too much to bear. I prayed, a lot.  I cried, a lot.  Then as I’ve experienced in the past a rushing peace swept over me and I knew the decision we were to make was going to be a good one, the kids are going to thrive.

So we enter yet another new season of life, and once again I’m excited to see what’s in store.  Does this mean we’ll never homeschool again?  Absolutely not, we’ll keep on our year by year method as long as we need it.  I wanted to share this because I know that there is a stigma out there about one way or the other being the “right” way to do things.  I wanted to encourage you that every family is unique and there is no such thing as the one right way to do things.   Keeping the family’s needs as a whole in perspective, this is the decision we’ve come to.

Of course I missed the crazy good Lands End Backpack deals, oh and I just have to share this really funny story that happened a week or so ago…

I was out shopping with Tyler, my almost 6 year old when I heard him say “Hey mom, look!  They have tiny suitcases for sale here!”  I turned to see what he was talking about, and about died laughing as a few other moms were nearby – they were lunchboxes.  My kids will have many new experiences coming at them it seems!

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I’ve been reminded lately that how easy it is to forget, and to forget very important things at that.  We simply cannot allow ourselves forget the mighty ways God has worked in our lives in the past or we risk becoming dependent on ourselves again.  God wants to be at work continuously and in mighty ways, but we have to get out of the way and let Him do what He does best.  Do you have dreams and goals for your future?  We do, big ones.  However we made a mistake over the past couple of months; as we set out a plan to accomplish our goals we planned to work only with the limited resources we currently have in view and in hand.  Our God is so much bigger than that!

So with that thought in mind, I’m sharing this series of posts that chronicle our journey of faith as a family mostly as a reminder to myself that God has brought us so very far and I’m eager and anxious to see what He has in store for us now!

Part 1: How TFF started and where we are at today…

Part 2: How TFF started and where we are at today…

Bringing you some hope today…

Bringing you some hope today (…continued)

Our BIG announcement…

I can be all things to all people…

Thank you for allowing me a space where I can share deals and to share with you what I’m passionate about – saving money.  Today though, thank you for allowing me to share from my heart.

I’d love to give you an opportunity to share how God has worked in your life, so please feel free to share your story in the comments section.  By sharing and reading each other’s stories I pray that we will be inspired and encouraged to once again put our dreams and goals in the hands of Jesus and allow Him to run wild with them.

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I feel like I’ve come a long ways since these posts here and here.  Remember the time where I talked about how crazy difficult it was to find a balance between blogging and managing my family?  God has been merciful and gracious to me and my family over the past 2+ years.  Where I was weak and incapable, he carried me and most importantly my family.  It feels as though a huge burden was lifted from my shoulders.  The sad part is that it wasn’t a burden I was meant to endure, it’s one I chose to carry myself.  Maybe you’re carrying the same burden?  The “I can be all things to all people” burden.  Have you carried the burden that never allows you to utter the words “no” or “help” before?  I lived there for quite some time recently.

So what’s changed?  I simply stepped back and decided to LIVE in the present and accept the fact that it would mean someone somewhere wasn’t getting the best of me – but my family is, always.  I asked for help and we met a wonderful lady here in Bend that has really become a huge source of relief for us, helping a few hours per week with the day to day tasks that we were falling behind on.  Most importantly though my perspective changed when I came to realize that I simply couldn’t do it all and that it was ok to say no.

A big part of that freedom came for me when we moved to Oregon, we had almost zero obligations outside of TFF and our children/home.  It’s very interesting to take a step back and start from scratch, re-writing your daily schedule.  Chooseing carfully what your family will participate in and what you’ll say no to.  If you’ve ever been in this same position, moving to a new town or state you’ll understand.  It’s been very refreshing for us to say the least!

The fact is though that it doesn’t have to take a out-of-state move for these changes to happen.  If you’ve found yourself at your wits’ end I want you to know that it is possible to find peace and to find balance in life.  I was taught for many years that balance was elusive and that it was a pendulum of sorts swaying back and forth as your focus shifted from area of life to another.  However I don’t necessarily believe that anymore – sure there will be seasons of life when you have to devote more time to one area than another but that doesn’t mean your family has to sacrifice.  It’s a choice I had to make – put my husband and my children first and then with what’s left ask the Lord to help me stretch my time, energy, and finances to meet the needs that MUST be met and let the rest just be.

We’re coming up on a new year, will you continue to stretch yourself way too thin as I did for too long?  Will you continue to carry the  ”I can be all things to all people” burden?  Just try it, let it go and see how it feels!

Now you must know I am so very thankful for all of you – our readers, because when I’ve let TFF slip a bit and not allow it to be the focus of my attention you all have been faithful to visit our blog and support us.  When I take hours off at at time on random days to romp around the forest with my children, you let me know that it’s ok and that you aren’t going anywhere.  So for that, I say a big HUGE thank you.     

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I’ll be honest, I’ve been slacking with labeling and filing my Sunday Coupon Inserts.  I think this seems to happen every few months and then I get caught up.  Today though I had some help, Morgan a very sweet local gal came by to help me whip my *still in boxes* office into shape.  If she doesn’t know how to use coupons, she will soon!  (Hi Morgan!)  Do you ever fall behind on your coupon organization?  Do you ever just want to quit using coupons altogether?  I think that’s totally normal and exactly what our stockpile is for, so we CAN take those breaks.

My office…

Speaking of breaks, Awana.  It’s our saving grace right now.  Having just moved to Bend and not knowing a single person, nights out with Mr. Frugal is pretty much a thing of the past.  That was until Awana at least!  All 4 of our children are old enough to attend, they’re absolutely loving it and it means TWO WHOLE HOURS kid-free each Monday night for us.  This my friends has been an incredible blessing to us.

So I know you’re wondering what we did tonight during our 2 hour break.  Well the first 30 minutes was spent running back to our house for their forgotten Awana Bucks.  You see I cleaned out their bags tonight and decided it would be wise to leave those at home so they weren’t lost.  Of course tonight is the night when they could spend them to buy toys for Operation Christmas Child Shoeboxes, so back home we went.  My poor Haley was almost in tears when we arrived back at Awana.  She didn’t know we were coming back with the Awana Bucks and her time at the store had already started, she thought she was going to miss out on shopping for the children we had been talking about all evening.

Then Mr. Frugal and I dart over to Starbucks (my second office) to catch up on emails and find the really good deal on this American Girl Book Set.  We spent some time gathering our thoughts over a warm cup of coffee for me and hot chocolate for Mr. Frugal – he despises coffee.  It’s true, crazy huh?  Then from there we went up the road to Goodwill in search of laptop bag for him.  You see I’ve been carting BOTH of our laptops in my bag, and well it’s a pretty purple bag and he’s not to keen on carrying it himself.  Then I saw it.  I had to have it. The lovely coupon rack pictured above, it’s perfectly sized and easy to use and hopefully Morgan will approve.

When we arrived back at Awana to pick up the kids, my son Tyler (5 years) began to tell me about all the items he purchased with his bucks.  Then he went into a rant about the lack of deals at the Awana store and how everything seemed to be overpriced.  I’m trying hard at this point not to laugh.  Then he said “I spent all of my bucks even though I think I could have gotten better deals at Target, but they don’t take Awana bucks.”  Aw, gotta love the little frugal kids.

So that’s a peak for you into our day today (and my uber hot date night with Mr. Frugal!). I won’t go into details about our unexpected guest this morning and our crazy mad dash to get the house in order.  I won’t tell you that our kids almost missed out on a full day of school because mommy needed help washing windows and shaking rugs.  Ah the life of a homeschooling work at home family is never dull.

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As I type Mr. Frugal is picking up Grandma, she came up on a train from CA overnight last night and will be staying the weekend with us.  The kids have been dying for this moment for weeks.

Thank you for following our journey and supporting our family as we made this huge move – it’s been a good thing for us in more ways than I can count even if we had a rough start. Oh and I’m loving how close everything is – ALL of the stores I shop at are within a 5 minute drive!

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

It sure feels like we’ve been under attack these past couple of weeks.  From my Grandpa Jack passing away, hospital stays, to new tires, dwindling savings,  to my son swallowing somthing potentially dangerous I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.  I asked for prayer last night on my personal Facebook page and my freinds showered me.  I woke this morning with a fresh perspective, one that I hope I can keep with me for more than a few hours.  That’s the key isn’t it?  Reminding yourself of the peace that the Lord gave and not allowing it to dissapear.  It’s a choice I believe.

Anyhow, I’m writing this because I don’t believe our trials are meant for us to endure alone.  I believe there is a reason and purpose that we experience what we do in life and it’s rarely for ourselves – it’s for someone else.  It’s so we can be used by the King.  This morning I’m reminded of the many fires we’ve gone through – the Refiner’s Fire.  It appears it’s time for another “Refiner’s Fire”.  It did seem like it had been quite some time and sadly, when that happens we start to depend on ourselves and less on God.  I remember from the last time it was HOT but He is a Master at what He does and only beauty can come from His work.

So today if you’re in the fire, you’re not alone.  I’m thinking and praying for you as well.

You  know what I love about TFF?  It’s a space where I can share deals and what I’m passionate about – saving money.  But, it’s also a place where I can share what’s on my heart.  Thank you for allowing me to be real from time to time here.

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It struck me last night at church that everyone remembers exactly what they were doing the morning of 9/11 – not many things unite an entire country like that.  We all remember exactly where we were and what we were doing, vividly.  Do something today.  I’d encourage you, especially if you have kids to do something today that will help them to grasp the gift we have in freedom.  Freedom as Americans and freedom as children of God.

We were very newly married and I was pregnant with our first child.  I can remember the uncertainty.  The feeling of absolute loss of control.  Some of that was good.  It reminded me to depend on my Creator for my very existence.  Life is full of uncertainties, each breath we take is a gift.  My thoughts and prayers are with the families still mourning their losses.  We will never forget.

Where were you?

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