Together, we’ll take life one bite at a time…
I woke up this morning knowing that this post needed to flow out of me. My purpose is to bring you some hope. Whatever situation you find yourself in today, just know that nothing is forever. There is a way out and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There could be something around the corner that could change the path your family is set on completely. Maybe not but I want to encourage you to be content in the midst of circumstances and work towards changing your situation. Many of you are here at TFF to make a change financially, by couponing you’re able to stay home with your kids or save up for a big purchase. Others of you use the deals here simply to survive. We’ve been there. Either way you’re making change happen.
A little bit about our story. Just out of my first year in college I found myself married and pregnant (you pick the order) and very quickly we found ourselves in debt. We were young and were living in the NOW. The future seemed a million years away and had little to no impact on our current day to day situation, so we spent and lived like there wasn’t a tomorrow. No we weren’t extravgent we didn’t buy new electronics, cars, etc. However almost worse…we simply failed to plan or budget. We had nothing to show for our debt, nothing to sell, just payments to make. We were living on a very meager $12/hr and the little money we had didn’t stretch far enough to cover our living expenses so out came the credit cards. We charged our gas, our food, our clothing and so on. We managed to make our minimum payments month after month, but the payments began to grow.
A couple of babies later I found myself in bed night after night just panicking, thinking how in the world are we going to dig out of this hole. We were making a little more money at that point and I was attempting to work from home but we were still just barely floating above water, all while still using credit cards to survive. I felt so scared and so alone, we didn’t know who to reach out to or where to go for help. We had made the decision that bankruptcy would never be an option but even still I had no idea what we were going to do. We had some family members try to encourage by saying “credit card payments are just a way of life, you just have to learn how to manage them and budget for it.” Crazy advice right?! I knew that was wrong but still didn’t know where to go from there.
All along my husband and I had been believers and faithfully attended church, even serving on staff for a couple of years myself while my husband was on the board. However finances were never discussed and we were never equipped for the journey that life had us on. About 5 years into our marriage we began to make simple strides towards changing our financial situation, the first was using cash only. We pulled the credit cards out of our wallets and “put them away” however we didn’t cut them up because we needed them in case of an emergency. Of course emergencies seemed to be around every corner. Also determining what an emergency was became an area for discussion.
We began to make small strides out of debt as we were learning how to use ONLY cash. The credit cards came out less and less and our income began to grow slowly. We finally found ourselves at a place 8 years into our marriage where we were making exactly the amount we needed to survive on, but even still we were at bare bone levels and the only reason we had groceries in the cabinet was because of coupons. This is when our friends started to see that even in our financial situation, we didn’t feel as hopeless any longer. Something about a pantry full of food and enough toiletries to last a couple of months brings a peace of mind. We began to help our friends out by putting together boxes of food for them and they began to ask how we could be doing this. Did we get a raise, was I working more? No, it was plain and simply coupons and learning how to use them strategically and using cash only. That’s when I started my very first blog. I called it “Cash and Coupons” but in the famous Julia style I wasn’t happy with the name or the look of it so we moved here, to The Frugal Find.
I was sharing the deals I found and teaching my friends and family how to coupon by posting my shopping trips, etc. Very similar to what I’m doing today. Except we had no idea what would lie ahead for our family. Something would rock our world.
To be continued tomorrow…
Robin Oakley Halliday via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 10:01 am
I can relate on so many different levels ~ you write beautifully!!
Diana Pipke via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 10:04 am
I just wanted to tell you.. you have taught me everything I know about coupons I watched all your videos and I really like how down to earth you are.. and that your not just a “deal chaser”
I am on a similar journey and have become very savvy at saving.. coupons were the last piece of my puzzle thank you!!!
The Frugal Find via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 10:08 am
Robin, thank you these are my favorite types of posts to write, they come naturally. It’s what is on my heart at the time and so I just start to type.
The Frugal Find via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 10:09 am
Diana, I’m so happy to hear that! I try to teach couponing with a purpose, and I’m glad you can see that.
The Frugal Find via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 10:15 am
Nina, isn’t that the truth! Thanks for sharing your story.
Vrtreena Jenkins via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 10:26 am
Fantastic blog post. There are so many people going through the same thing.
Shelly Klosterman via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 10:27 am
nice cliff hanger
The Frugal Find via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 10:29 am
Shelly, lol I know. I had intended to write the entire post today but it was gettting soooo long and I couldn’t decide what to cut out, so it had to be continued.
anna kang May 31, 2011 at 10:41 am
when I wake up ,very first thing I always visit here and there how can I save today. It means save money and try to find the answer my financial problem. Today I found out how you are really honest personality and really good friend…and you are encourage me a lot . Thank you all those honest words. (I hope you can understand what I wrote..english is my second language.)
Julia May 31, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Anna, thank you so much for your comment it brought a smile to my face. I’m so glad you read The Frugal Find – it means so much to me!
Ann May 31, 2011 at 11:28 am
Love it – I’m one of those that choose a frugal life (hubby makes 6 figures and we have considerable assets). But there is no other way I would teach my kids how to live. It makes you appreciate the little things in life much more.
Chris Pilon Dito via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 11:56 am
Thanks for sharing Julia. I needed to hear a light at the end of the tunnel story.
Yvonne May 31, 2011 at 12:53 pm
“To be continued…” What?! I can’t wait til then.
Kelly May 31, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Really needed this today – thanks. I also appreciate your honesty in telling how things happened gradually. We had been previously working on trying to get out of debt and felt like it was hard to start if we couldn’t/weren’t ready to be as intense as some suggest. Today, we are using your site to help get through what’s turning into a challenging couple years.
Julia May 31, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Kelly, it is a slow process but one that actually flies by. It’s a strange mix, but looking back I can say WOW where did the time go?! It blesses me to know that TFF is helping you through this phase of life. Keep on going, you’ll make it through!
SueBee May 31, 2011 at 2:53 pm
True, true, true! I love the honest way you put the truth out there…and it IS reassuring to have a full pantry when everything else seems so uncertain. I feel so blessed that, because of you, I started couponing before I really HAD to, so that now in this temporary tight spot, I am able to get what my family needs for less. I cannot believe that just a couple of years ago I didn’t think twice about spending near $1000/month on groceries and household items!! Yikes! I missed an awful lot of opportunities to give in those days and I didn’t even know it.
Julia May 31, 2011 at 3:34 pm
SueBee, I felt the same way! I wish I had been couponing for years because I could have avoiding so much debt and helped so many people. I’m just thankful now to that I have the opportunity to do so and to pass that info onto my readers.
What an awesome story – I just love knowing that you had a stockpile in place and were couponing before you had to. Perfect.
Carson Tyree via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 3:09 pm
I Thank God, He spoke to me through you today. Just what I needed, at the time I needed it.
The Frugal Find via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 3:38 pm
Chris, I’m so glad I sat down to type out what was on my mind today. Clearly there was a reason the words came to me.
The Frugal Find via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 3:38 pm
Carson – THIS is why I do what I do. Thanks for the comment.
Colleen J. May 31, 2011 at 4:26 pm
We are dealing with so much right now. Underemployment, failing health of my mom, a contentious family.
Praise God that he led us to become debt free three years ago. That has been so freeing in the midst of it all.
Thank you for sharing hope.
Angela May 31, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Oh man this is like a really good book I can’t put down. almost sounds like me!! Can not wait to hear the rest. You are very inspirational.
Kim Dauer via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 5:35 pm
I think I need it. Sometimes I don’t think we’ll ever get caught up or ahead and it doesn’t help when people tell me I’m crazy for not working more or for giving .
Kristin Jagard via Facebook May 31, 2011 at 8:09 pm
yes
Lynete (my3sonsmom) May 31, 2011 at 10:21 pm
I can’t wait to hear the rest…….
I have a feeling many of us have been in or are currently in this boat. Thanks for having the courage to share. My husband and I are strong believers in the principals of paying cash and not using credit cards as well. I won’t even begin to tell you how many years it took us to figure out that one, too many. I just hope that our kids are young enough to see that mom & dad are frugal, know how to save & live within their means, and when the kids are grown and on their own, they will do the same and avoid alot of the financial struggles we had when we were younger.
sheeba mathew June 1, 2011 at 5:06 am
Thanks for your inspiring words…i thought of one thing you did not mention on your entry is that your marriage must have been teetering as well with your early struggles. Doubt and Worry right through with the responsibility of the babies in you hearts.
We all start somewhere I suppose after all we are human and i am glad I have started reading sites like your to learn more on what i can do in my life.
Tammy Peterson August 24, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Me too! I prayed for contentedness this morning! I’m trying to survive my husband’s mid-life crisis. He’s been unemployed for a year and a half. God has miraculously provided for us throughout…..though we’ve “danced” with the credit cards a bit here and there. We paid interest for two months and I thought I was going to have a stroke! We’re not debt-free, but we don’t usually carry a balance on the cc’s. Our income tax return came today and I paid it off – again. Time to put the cards away – again. One day at a time. I’m very frugal, but still I am frustrated with couponing. I print them and cut them, but forget to use them before they expire.